Hi everybody! (as in Barny from the Simpsons, I believe). Well, how can I explain what it is like to be down here? I think that I would not be wrong in reiterating here my initial assessment: Paradise, or at least a Paradigm of absolutely – and ambiguously – Southern quality. When I got off the plane, I was immediately encompassed by a tremendous uplifting surge of something bordering on euphoria, but closer probably to a simple anticipatory buoyancy. Everything around me was absolutely and completely transformed, through the portal of flight, from the cold and desolate 22 degree landscape of Maine into the southern-friendly green, island, warm, salty integument of the Caribbean. I smiled.

Arriving on the boat – after dropping 65$ on taxis and ferries,( they know how to take advantage of opportunity down here) -I found myself inserted into a close knit crew of sun-tanned, salty sailors with no prerogative but the achievement of that ever elusive goal that all continuously search for, but few ever find: Happiness.

We departed immediately – and I should mention that sister Bryn and Ethan were on board as well: it was great to see them, though they left a day later: peace out guys – and cast ourselves into the open sea, en route to the island of Virgin Gorda: Me like the sound of this verrry much!!! I might mention that I was happy to bring something aboard the boat, so as not be a complete deadweight. Namely, the ever enlightening idioms of Borat: Sexy Time!!! Verrry nice!!! I think everyone has enjoyed them – I hope.

Since then, it has been a fluctuating ride of fun times, full bellies and feasting on literature: Ahhhh, what could be better? I really feel like these guys have found a sort of secret key to life down here. I think it was Tolstoy who said something like, “Never forsake a prison bed or a soldier’s cot.” And while these guys are definitely not engaged in a lifestyle that is in anyway similar to the aforementioned two, I think the principle of the thought is being fully enacted. Namely: The abrogation of distraction. It is a vacation land down here, but it is not a lazy one. There is routine and regimen and work. There is also relaxation and revelry. But there is no fast food, there is no TV. It is a somewhat anachronistic lifestyle that exudes that essence of simplicity and interaction with the elements that one finds embodied by all spiritually healthy individuals.

But back to the facts: Last night, after the arrival of Seal captain Coates, the crew, with guests, embarked up a mission of serious consequence with dire undertones of a lascivious nature: Infiltration of La’Bomba’s full moon Mushroom Tea party, and subsequent implementation of the Mystery method, (for those of you to whom this method is a mystery, it will have to remain so, for I am in no way relinquishing the esoteric and highly efficacious principles of it tactics). Jordi, sadly, could not take part in this mission, as he temporarily disengaged from the crew to attend some sort of, what sounded to me to be, an entirely dull and barren gathering aboard Hooter Patrol 4, (as in the Buxom resplendent restaurant chain): That poor bastard. Our hearts go out to you Jordi.

The night went pretty well for those of us lucky enough to avoid the travails of Jordi. La’Bomba’s is an interesting edification of a Tavern. I believe the architecture is reminiscent of more archaic times, and the metaphysic of the proprietor is definitely a somewhat ambiguous neo- Christo-Buddhist mixture, with maybe a little voodoo magic thrown in for good measure. We did not party to hard, nor did we try the very enticing mushroom tea. But I will say that the application of the method of the “Dawning of the Peacock” was exceedingly efficient. I was quite impressed. After a few beers – and encounters with middle-aged, inebriated women surprisingly attracted to John - the team extracted early and with full consciousness.

So back on the boat now and waiting for the arrival of the third Amigo. All I can say is, intellectually, I see either a paradise or a close facsimile of it. So enough of this writing, I’m going topside. Peace out everybody, and don’t worry, these southern winds will be coming north soon.

The Tropical Transient