13 Haikus
by Robert Tusso

Neck-hair Bon Jovi
Upon a steel horse John rides
Please get a haircut

White kid from winter
Don’t need no silly sunscreen
Peeling’s easier

Be less self-centered
Ten books about me tell me
It’s not about me

There’s no “I” in Team
Especially Team Audax
Plenty of “meat” though

What does “Audax” mean?
Courageous to the point of
Too long a meaning

Hooters playing cards
Sharlene, Darlene, Brodine, from
Our trailer to yours

“Ooid” – sand grain with
Calcium Carbonate rinds.
Look it up, doubters.

Wanna rent scooters?
Sure you can drive on the right,
Cement trucks will yield

Johnny Cash Hot Sauce
Hotter than a pepper sprout
Gives you Ring of Fire

The Doors again? Dude,
Let Jim find his own way to
The next whiskey bar

Dear Delta Airlines:
I hate you, you stink, there’s a
Bomb on your next plane

Dear Judge: I’m sorry
Who’d have thought the FBI
Reads John’s little blog?

Haikus are really
Overrated — Kind of like
Alex Rodriguez

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Tuesday
1015 –Location: The Bakery. A computer screen straight ahead, coffee on the right flank, remants of a delicious muffin on the left…heaven and happiness What have we been doing these past 24 hours… not much and it sure feels good. A much needed day of decompression after good byes to Bibo – another most excellent guest aboard the Audax despite dare I say some questionable maneuvers on the speed scrabble board.  Anybody ever heard of the word “ooid”??? What the christ!!!!!!

Where to now??? Virgin Gorda and dingy racing baby! With the BVI Spring Regatta in full force the BVI’s are going to be bumping with world class racing and partying all week long.

A New species entry here.

What, no pictures… jeeez we are on a vacation from our vacation

Search for crew update: Still looking but many promising prospects coming out of the woodwork!

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Saturday
1920 – Sunset at the colored chairs (complete with cheese, crackers and red stripe)…..wonderful!!! Once again our “go to” island of Peter did not disappoint. Beach time, frisbee, swimming, reading, an oil change, some speed scrabble and the use of a swell anchor has us sitting nice and cozy as Bibo makes fajitas, Stevey sun-showers, Jordi works to recover from the Audax Plague, and I type this entry.

Fact 1: The Audax is not a high performance vessel (We love her though!)
Fact 2: Hence she does not like to sail into the wind (or downwind for that matter)
Fact 3: Thus she has a very narrow angle of optimal sailing capability
Today: WE HIT THE SWEET SPOT!
Reach sailing from Virgin Gorda, one big beautiful mama of an island was incredible!! The past 2 days we have frequented her famous Baths with huge granite rock outcroppings/caves, explored the Bitter End Yacht Club complete with a fully stocked laser sailing school and then as a night cap to this successful mission we enjoyed a happy hour sunset drink in Spanish Town, the original capital of the BVI’s.

I like nature. There is a lot of it down here. In an effort to keep readers interested (the islands don’t seem to be changing much as of late ) and also to help me continue working towards a personal goal of this trip: learn, document and observe the numerous species below and above the waterline – a new page is born! It consists of the various species we look to avoid being eaten/stung/bitten/attacked by (watch out for the Tarantulas!!!)

Click here to view the first entry or you can click on “Species Spectacle” on the right navigation.

WE STILL NEED HELP SAILING THE BOAT BACK – FIND OUT MORE RIGHT HERE!

Photorial on the Baths, cocktail hour, the official Flagstaff Yacht Club flying high, we just can’t seem to get away from these little guys

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Flagstaff Yacht Club, and
West Point Yacht Club, together
Ruling the high seas

For a limited time: Team Audax needs you!! Help batten down the hatches, explore exotic islands, avoid urchin spikes and hungry sharks, pull in the main and be a part of the same old game. We need 1 -2 able bodied or simply bodied personas willing to voyage across the high seas and help bring the Audax back home. This is a serious plea and please help.
Details and more can be read about it here.

But for now, on with the Haikus

By Robert Tusso

Sweet Anegada
Tourists and dudes with dreadlocks
Kind of like Vermont

Open the hatches
Reef the main, throttle her down
John’s pooping again

Good-hearted woman
Loving her good-timing man
Sleep, Virgin Gorda

Foxy’s, Jost Van Dyke
The cougars are out tonight!
I got your back, dude

So, how’s your burger?
Our pets heads are falling off
Kick his ass, Sea Bass

Looking at the stars,
John says “There’s the big dipper!”
Thanks, Galileo.

Previous Post

Thursday
1434 – Dude, are we back in the Bahamas??? Fighting our way out yesterday afternoon, a crew of 4 with Bob Tusso aka Bibo inserting himself nicely into our watch and cooking schedule, Team Audax dare I say growing perhaps tired of the same set of islands decided to venture out in search of grand new locations!! Anegada – flat (28 feet at its highest elevation), desolate (ain’t no Foxy’s or Willy T’s action here), off the beaten path (see map) and supposedly full of Flamingos (we did not see any!) you blink and its gone!!! Some beach walking for Stevey, bird watching for John and trail running by Jordi and Bibo. Certainly glad we made the trek but time and tide wait for no man and the target now – Virgin Gorda 12 nm as the crow flies.

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From 2 sick herrigels….to emergency room visits! Anchor dragging and Easter Enchiladas. Hearts extravaganza and warbler identification. Fish tacos and fried plantains. Its life aboard the Audax and its all good!!

Tuesday
0738 – Working to enjoy pancakes at Cinnamon Bay courtesy of chef extraordinaire Jordi. Brother Scot and myself suffering from some sort of nasty stomach virus. Raise the quarantine flag, fumigate the boat!!

Monday
0534 – “TURN THE ENGINE ON!!” “BRING OUT THE FENDERS”. What the…????? First came the rain, and then came the wind. Lesson learned: Anchoring on coral in a crowded harbor equals oh shi*!”, but with a team 5 strong – Jordi and Scot on anchor detail, Stevey at the helm and David and I on support staff the crisis was averted. Good thing we did not stay for any more drinks at Foxy’s the night prior!!

Sunday – Enjoying excellent Easter enchiladas as the furry guy managed to find Team Audax bringing with him some welcome chocolate treats. With bellies full we made our way towards the Caves at Norman Island. Venturing deeper than ever before… it happened….a war wound.  A spiny sea urchin right into the hand of Captain Coates. Keeping calm, cool and collected we spread all canvas and full throttled for Road Town! Thankfully amputation was narrowly avoided and as the sun set we enjoyed beautiful vistas en route to Jost Van Dyke.

Before and after, lets harpoon a whale, Peter Island photorial by Scot, finally raising the state of Maine flag!

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Hi everybody! (as in Barny from the Simpsons, I believe). Well, how can I explain what it is like to be down here? I think that I would not be wrong in reiterating here my initial assessment: Paradise, or at least a Paradigm of absolutely – and ambiguously – Southern quality. When I got off the plane, I was immediately encompassed by a tremendous uplifting surge of something bordering on euphoria, but closer probably to a simple anticipatory buoyancy. Everything around me was absolutely and completely transformed, through the portal of flight, from the cold and desolate 22 degree landscape of Maine into the southern-friendly green, island, warm, salty integument of the Caribbean. I smiled.

Arriving on the boat – after dropping 65$ on taxis and ferries,( they know how to take advantage of opportunity down here) -I found myself inserted into a close knit crew of sun-tanned, salty sailors with no prerogative but the achievement of that ever elusive goal that all continuously search for, but few ever find: Happiness.

We departed immediately – and I should mention that sister Bryn and Ethan were on board as well: it was great to see them, though they left a day later: peace out guys – and cast ourselves into the open sea, en route to the island of Virgin Gorda: Me like the sound of this verrry much!!! I might mention that I was happy to bring something aboard the boat, so as not be a complete deadweight. Namely, the ever enlightening idioms of Borat: Sexy Time!!! Verrry nice!!! I think everyone has enjoyed them – I hope.

Since then, it has been a fluctuating ride of fun times, full bellies and feasting on literature: Ahhhh, what could be better? I really feel like these guys have found a sort of secret key to life down here. I think it was Tolstoy who said something like, “Never forsake a prison bed or a soldier’s cot.” And while these guys are definitely not engaged in a lifestyle that is in anyway similar to the aforementioned two, I think the principle of the thought is being fully enacted. Namely: The abrogation of distraction. It is a vacation land down here, but it is not a lazy one. There is routine and regimen and work. There is also relaxation and revelry. But there is no fast food, there is no TV. It is a somewhat anachronistic lifestyle that exudes that essence of simplicity and interaction with the elements that one finds embodied by all spiritually healthy individuals.

But back to the facts: Last night, after the arrival of Seal captain Coates, the crew, with guests, embarked up a mission of serious consequence with dire undertones of a lascivious nature: Infiltration of La’Bomba’s full moon Mushroom Tea party, and subsequent implementation of the Mystery method, (for those of you to whom this method is a mystery, it will have to remain so, for I am in no way relinquishing the esoteric and highly efficacious principles of it tactics). Jordi, sadly, could not take part in this mission, as he temporarily disengaged from the crew to attend some sort of, what sounded to me to be, an entirely dull and barren gathering aboard Hooter Patrol 4, (as in the Buxom resplendent restaurant chain): That poor bastard. Our hearts go out to you Jordi.

The night went pretty well for those of us lucky enough to avoid the travails of Jordi. La’Bomba’s is an interesting edification of a Tavern. I believe the architecture is reminiscent of more archaic times, and the metaphysic of the proprietor is definitely a somewhat ambiguous neo- Christo-Buddhist mixture, with maybe a little voodoo magic thrown in for good measure. We did not party to hard, nor did we try the very enticing mushroom tea. But I will say that the application of the method of the “Dawning of the Peacock” was exceedingly efficient. I was quite impressed. After a few beers – and encounters with middle-aged, inebriated women surprisingly attracted to John – the team extracted early and with full consciousness.

So back on the boat now and waiting for the arrival of the third Amigo. All I can say is, intellectually, I see either a paradise or a close facsimile of it. So enough of this writing, I’m going topside. Peace out everybody, and don’t worry, these southern winds will be coming north soon.

The Tropical Transient

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Friday
0540 Shama – lama – Caribida –madoo. Translation(I think): “Keep it real, keep it in the moment, island life rocks!!” You know you be living the good life when the sun just begins to set and you find yourself sipping on a wonderful rum concoction whilst playing speed scrabble topside on the Audax as melodious music humms in the background and you gently float up and then down just off Marina Cay in the British Virgin Islands! Alas the happy/sad goodbyes were said to Bryn and Ethan yesterday after such a wonderful week with such kind generosity, helping hands and awesome team work (safe travels with love!!) And now Team Audax enjoys a moment of rest from guests. Last night Scot, Stevey, Jordi and myself feasted on a hearty meal of hot dogs and broccoli in Road Harbour, Tortola. Today we welcome great friend David to the islands and its blast off time: Full moon fever at the Bomba Shack is upon us, oh baby!!! What has happend these past two days: a Herrigel siblings reunion, more snorkeling, some ginger beer without fear and some hearts and chess on deck as team Audax definitely continues to stay in check.

Cave man??, watch out for the matuks (aka red HOT hot sauce!!), photo album of Cruise #3

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Sunday
1110 – We were at eight and it sure felt great!! Stevey + Jordi + Josh+ Chelsi + Suzette + Bryn + Ethan + John = a ton of fun under the sun. What more can one say. We busted lots of rhymes, we danced, we were entranced. We ate out, we ate in, we jumped in and went for multiple swims. We talked and we shared, we gave and we took. We hiked and we dived, we all just simply jived. Life aboard Audax is great as Cruise #2 became Cruise #3 and now we are 6 as we said our goodbyes too another two most wonderful guests, Chelsi and Suzette. Safe travels home!!!
Photo albums at bottom of post

Previous posts from Cruise 2
Saturday – Happy St. Patricks Day
And then we were off…
After the ladies arranged a fine dine of French toast with fried plantains.
Cruz Bay is where we went for the parade, hoorah hoorah.
We then snorkeled and swam.
Played some ultimate frisbee galore.
Then cold showers for all and it twas back into Cruz Bay for some more.
Fish tacos and live music, a “perfect poach” of shore side cots.
Then we all said goodnight and sleep tight…please don’t let the bed bugs bite.

Friday
2338 Sitting topside on the Audax in Red Hook poaching American Yacht Harbor wifi with Jordi and Josh as we await Bryn and Ethan’s delayed arrival. Electrical problems with their aircraft forced an emergency landing in Bermuda… hear of the triangle anyone! A lesson learned: Listen to your mother when she says “brush your teeth!!” Air pockets in ones teeth from cavity fillings equals PAIN whence the pressure builds from being 25 feet deep. Today the Audax went this way, then that way as we bounced from Cane Garden Bay to the West End on Tortola for BVI customs check-out. We then sailed down to Cruz Bay and it is now USA all the way clearing customs once again. Resting little we shot back to Cinnamon Bay for some time to play. A BBQ on shore and then back off mooring under moonlight at 10 in the night. The call just arrived… they are hear and we cheer!

With 500 plus photos,2 albums for viewing pleasure. Fun times for Team Audax and St. Patty Day galore plus Cruise #2 Route

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Wednesday
0711- As the sun rises a new day dawns and life starts anew. Keeping it in the moment, keeping it real….we be cruising whilst doing a little boozing and probably a bit too much snoozing!

The crew assembles: Josh on Friday, Suzette on Saturday, Chelsi on Sunday.
Day 1: Sunday – Over the channel and through the ocean to Jost Van Dyke we go. The boat knows the way as she ferries and sways over the foamed and frothy sea. Foxy’s Beachside Bar 2nd time around: OFF THE HOOK! “Now this is what I am talking about!!!”
Day 2: Monday – Fun times with customs, pancakes in the cockpit, gotta hit up the afternoon stop at Sandy Cay and its anchor down this evening off Peter Island just in time for delicious cocktails, delectable pork chops and an early to bed call for a Team Audax plus 3.
Day 3: Tuesday – Peter Island freaking rocks! What a beach (with chairs!), so many incredible views coupled with an awesome ambiance. Relaxation station for Stevey and Chelsi, a great trail hike for myself and Suzette whilst Jordi and Josh took to the deep blue sea diving down 50 feet for some exploration of the wreck of the RMS Rhone!

Notable notes:
Poopy sans Juice!!: All clogged up and it 2 gold stars for Josh as he filled in for Stevey to help with…. well you know the story…same smell, same color, this time just a little thicker!! NOTE TO ALL PARTIES COMING TO STAY ON THE AUDAX: Be sure to attend Head Operations 101 upon arrival, a new course we will be offering effective today, gloves and facemasks not included!

SCUBA Diving: I DID IT AND IT WAS AWESOME! With 3 certified divers aboard the Audax now and a 2nd set of gear donated (thank you Nancy!) and figuring what is the worst that can happen (Mom don’t worry!) I went down. Needless to say I am hooked! Lesson #2 set for this afternoon! Oh baby!

Fried Plantains: A gold star for Suzette and we have a new favorite food aboard the AUDAX!

The gold star system: Initially begun by Family Audax way back when….don’t ask for one, don’t try and get one, when the stars align you will know!

One week or one year??, scuba lesson #1, Team Audax training mode GO!, photo album of it all.

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Saturday
1448 – Success and look at us now! A splash of tennis, a dash of swimming, half a cup of peanuts on the beach whilst reading the Power of Now, café Americano’s and free wifi….Red Shank is really Red Hook and Bon Jovi is really Journey! “THAT’S RIGHT!”

Island life rolls on and what have we done since Family F day (see below)…Cinnamon Bay Beach, pool sharking with the local riff raff, success in head rebuilding for Stevey – he loves the juice!, electrical rewiring of a propane solenoid for me – (thank you Phil for the education I still seem to remember!) and guest services for Jordi as Josh, a best friend from Vermont, arrived ready and raring to go!

Thursday
Family F Day, (use the imagination)!! This was supposed to be Family Fun Day, but after some emotional emotion (long story), a little puking (longer story), fire ants in ones pants (not fun!), being given the “bums rush” at the Caneel Bay Resort, severe failure at locating a rental car (7 different places), irate/irrational drunk people in our faces, a stubbed toe and THREE foiled attempts at locating tennis facilities Team Audax decided to throw in the towel, satisfied to reflect amongst ourselves at anchor in Cinnamon Bay over Pork chops and delicious organic green beans. We are family for the good times, family for the bad times, just family.

A sweet picture I just found from Cruise #1, Sverre – remember the little army men forts on Big Beach!

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